9. Breaking Down Fear for Spiritual Entrepreneurs

Hi, I’m Natalie Ottosen and you’re listening to The Mindset School podcast for Soulful Entrepreneurs episode number nine.

Welcome to The Mindset School podcast, a show for spiritual entrepreneurs who are ready to stop feeling stuck, reconnect to their soul’s purpose, and create a deeply fulfilling life and business. I’m Natalie Ottosen, transformational life coach, and reconnection healing foundational practitioner, and I can help you scale and grow a six-figure business from a place of inner authority, wisdom, knowledge, and truth.

If you are a spiritual entrepreneur and you are looking to take that first step towards your dream of running your own business, this is the show for you. Ready to step into your power and move forward with clarity and purpose? Let’s go.

Fear. Remember that show, Fear Factor? When I just said that, that’s what that reminded me of. I don’t know about you, but I could never watch the part where they ate the bugs and things like that. It literally would make me gag and I would definitely get all sweaty when anything involving heights would happen so anyways, sorry about that little tangent. I’m just curious if you guys remember that show? It was an interesting show.

Let's talk about fear. So after my last podcast this felt like a very appropriate subject to dive into this week. Last week, actually it’s been two weeks, so the last two podcast episodes I shared very vulnerable stories about my life and what happened to me that completely altered, shaped, and transformed my life. And I actually want to preface this, and I probably should have said this in the last episode, I am able to share these stories because I have processed and healed these parts of myself. And even though there are always and will always be layers that we’ll continue to uncover, I am not coming from the messy middle.

I’m not talking about it from unprocessed pain here, even though you're hearing emotion in my voice in both the episodes, that emotion, it's coming from how proud I am, of who I am and what I've gone through. As well as the pure joy that I feel for what’s happened and how passionately I feel about it as well and maybe even a little nervous of the vulnerability piece. So I just felt like that was something that was really important to say here.

So these stories that I shared, they carried a lot of self-judgment, shame, and fear. And I don't know if you can relate to any of this fear, but it was fear about what people would think of me, fear of rejection, fear of not living up to what other people's expectations were of me, especially the things that my family members said to me. My grandpa, “How dare you?” My dad, “When are you going to learn your lesson?” So what is fear?

Number one, fear is a four letter word. So fear is a survival response. Fear is false evidence appearing real. Fear is a liar. But the actual definition of fear is an emotional response. And I want to highlight the emotion piece. To a ‘perceived’ threat or danger, it is a natural and instinctual response that helps us identify and respond to potential risks in our environment. So a lot of times it's a perceived potential risk in our environment. And it's really important that we can start to differentiate if it's an actual threat or a perceived threat.

So ultimately fear is just an emotion. It can be a strong one, but it is just an emotion. As much as it pretends to keep us safe from harm, it is stopping us from pursuing what is meaningful and important and impactful to us in our lives. So fear, it kept me from starting my podcast for years. It’s kept me from finishing my book. It's kept me from getting on stages. It has kept me from putting myself out there when I was a new coach. It's kept me from putting myself out there as an established coach. Fear of going to networking events, building my multiple six figure real estate business. Fear of being vulnerable on this podcast.

So as a spiritual entrepreneur who may be in the process of building her own spiritual business, I want you to think about how fear is showing up for you. And I also want to share some examples of what it might look like. So fear of failure, starting a business particularly in a field like spirituality, it can feel daunting. And the fear of not succeeding may be holding some of you back, especially if you don't know what it is that you want to do. I know because this was me and it wasn't even until recently, working with my own coach that I really embraced that I am a spiritual business coach.

I said I was a business coach. I said I was spiritual, but I was having a really hard time saying I was a spiritual business coach. So having that permission has changed everything for me. Fear of financial instability, it takes time and money to start a business and it can feel financially risky, creating that fear around income and money. You might have fear of judgment. So you might be worried about what other people will think of you, just like I did creating this podcast or saying that I was a life coach, or an astrologist or an energy healer. I had a lot of fear around that, fear of not living up to your own expectations.

So you probably have really high standards for yourself and you’re worrying about whether or not you’re going to be able to live up to that standard. Fear of not making a difference. This one tugs at my heart strings a little bit. As a woman who is passionate about spirituality, who knows I have a purpose to help other women create their own spiritually aligned business but struggled with feeling worthy myself and feeling like I could make a meaningful and impactful difference. You might also be feeling that fear. Will what I have to offer be meaningful to somebody else? So you might be feeling that just like I did.

And here are also a few common ways that fear shows up but looks like something else. Procrastination, perfectionism, anxiety, major anxiety, control, indecision, overworking, negative self-talk, and physical symptoms. So this can show up as increased heart rate, sweating or muscle tension. And these symptoms can be a sign that our body is responding to perceived danger or threats. All of these topics on their own should be podcast episodes and they probably will. So I’ll probably dive into all of these in a later episode.

So these are just a few examples of some fears and concerns that might be coming up for you. And yours are going to be unique to your own circumstances and experiences. So I want to talk about how you can start overcoming fear, but before we do that, can we just take a moment and celebrate how beautiful our brains are and the way it works to keep us safe. And we can feel the fear and do it anyways. Overcoming fear can be a challenging process especially if we haven't practiced doing this but here are some strategies that can be helpful.

So number one is identify and acknowledge your fear. So identifying what is causing your fear and how is it affecting your thoughts and your behaviors. If you’re having a hard time recognizing it, go back to the list up above. So play this back and go back to where I started recognizing it, but really recognizing for you how your fear is showing up is so helpful.

Number two is face your fear, so avoiding your fear. It can reinforce and make it more difficult to overcome. We’re building that neural pathway in the brain every time we’re succumbing to that fear. So think of it as a road that starts off as a grass trail, then it becomes so worn down it becomes a dirt road. Then they put down some pavement then concrete. So think about it that way. Every time you’re reinforcing that fear, you’re just building that road basically of the fear instead of challenging it.

So consider gradually facing the fear in a controlled and safe environment. This is where working with a coach is brilliant. And I actually did a lot of work around this. I’ve done a lot or work around this over the last several months of showing up and being seen on social media or my podcast. That created a lot of fear for me, and I had to differentiate is this a perceived fear or is this an actual fear, like am I in actual danger? And I am not in actual danger. It's just showing up and being seen meant physical harm for me.

So recognizing the difference and just being aware of that was a huge insight for me, so facing your fear. It can help you build confidence and reduce that power of fear over time, practice relaxation techniques. So we just talked about this, fear can cause physical symptoms such as increased heart rate and muscle tension. So learning relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, a progressive muscle relaxation. So you can actually do a body scan. These can help reduce these symptoms and increase your sense of calm and peace.

Number four is creating a routine. So an example of this would be like my morning routine that I talked about in episode two. So I know that this is something that works for me. I know that doing this morning routine, it creates the alignment, it creates structure, it creates routine. And it's something that I can do daily that helps me reduce my fear and builds my confidence.

Number five, seek support. So talk to a trusted friend, a family member, a mental health professional or a coach. This can all provide emotional support and help so that you can develop strategies for coping with your fear, just like I said, the last couple of months I’ve been diving into a lot of this myself and uncovering some of these fears that have been keeping me from moving forward. And as a coach I can help you do the same.

Number six, reframe your thoughts. I’ve talked about this before, and I am going to talk about it again because this is a big one. So negative self-talk and catastrophic thinking, it can exacerbate fear. I want to encourage you to start challenging these thoughts by reframing them into more positive and realistic ways. So this can help you develop a more balanced perspective and reduce the intensity of your fear. One of the ways that you can do this is by saying, “What is the worst case scenario that can happen here?”

So think about a circumstance like building a business, what is the worst case scenario that it fails, that you don’t get any clients, how is that any different than out now? So if you’re going to feel the fear of starting the business and feel the fear of not starting the business, you might as well start.

Seven is take action. So taking action to address the source of the fear can help you regain a sense of control and empowerment. This may involve setting goals or developing a plan of action or again, seeking professional help with a coach. Last week I had a group coaching call and one of the women on the call knew that she wants to be a life coach that empowers women. And I asked her what was stopping her. She said she didn't know where to start. So we coached around this. So we gave her a clear action plan with a date to get started.

Overcoming fear can be a gradual process and it's important to be patient and kind with yourself as you’re working through it. Remember that fear is a very normal human emotion and it's okay to seek help and support when you need it. Also the antidote to fear is courage and courage is the ability to face and overcome our fears despite the discomfort or uncertainty that we may be feeling. It involves taking action and moving forward even when we’re afraid. It takes practice and patience. It's not something that happens overnight even though I know most of us would like it to be that way.

But rather something that can develop over time with consistent effort and dedication. And that's where that routine and structure comes back in. So making those decisions consistently and doing things that feel uncomfortable starts to build that muscle. Fear is always going to show up. It is how our brain is wired. It is how our brain keeps us safe. And what if we just started questioning that fear? So we can handle this one of two ways. You know that acronym, FEAR, you can forget everything and run, or you can face everything and rise, the choice is yours.

So I would love for you to message me on Instagram @soulsistercoaching and tell me what are you most afraid of and what do you choose? Do you choose to forget everything and run, or do you want to face everything and rise? I cannot wait to hear what you have to say. Again, message me on Instagram @soulsistercoaching and I will see you guys next week, all my love.

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Thank you for joining me for this week's episode of The Mindset School. Ready to dive deeper into finding your purpose and create a deeply fulfilling life? Visit soulsistercoaching.com for more guidance and resources. See you next week.