18. Breaking Free From Perfectionism: Why Done is Better Than Perfect

Hi, I’m Natalie Ottosen and you are listening to The Mindset School for Soulful Entrepreneurs, episode number 18.

Welcome to The Mindset School podcast, a show for spiritual entrepreneurs who are ready to stop feeling stuck, reconnect to their soul’s purpose, and create a deeply fulfilling life and business. I’m Natalie Ottosen, transformational life coach, and reconnection healing foundational practitioner, and I can help you scale and grow a six-figure business from a place of inner authority, wisdom, knowledge, and truth.

If you are a spiritual entrepreneur and you are looking to take that first step towards your dream of running your own business, this is the show for you. Ready to step into your power and move forward with clarity and purpose? Let’s go.

Welcome back in the Midwest which is where I’m at. I think I may have mentioned that before. We get very hot and humid. And that can produce some pretty incredible thunderstorms. So I am sitting here staring out my window as it is pouring rain. And you might even hear some thunder. You won’t see lightning, but you’ll definitely possibly hear some thunder. So it’s been pretty loud. It’s been ripping and roaring out there for just a little bit.

So okay, today I want to take a moment to connect and share some thoughts on an important topic that resonates with many of us on our spiritual entrepreneurship journey, and it is embracing imperfection and prioritizing progress over perfection. As women in our 40s and beyond, we have accumulated wisdom and life experiences that have shaped us into the remarkable individuals that we are today.

With that being said, the pressure to achieve, especially if you’re a high achieving woman, this pressure to achieve perfection can sometimes hinder our growth and our potential as spiritual entrepreneurs. And that’s why I wanted to bring our attention to this concept of done is better than perfect and its profound impact on our own personal and professional lives. Striving for perfection can lead to all sorts of things like procrastination and self-doubt and unnecessary stress. And I will share a story with you very shortly about these three things.

It's important for us to acknowledge that imperfections are part of the human experience, and they are very essential for our growth. So let's start by exploring some of the pitfalls of perfectionism that you and I have encountered or may be experiencing on this journey.

So pitfall number one is fear of failure. Perfectionism breeds this deep fear of making mistakes or falling short of our own high standards. I know generally speaking, my fear of failure doesn't have anything to do with anyone else. It has to do with my own standard of myself and the pressure that I put on myself. So this fear can paralyze us and prevent us from taking risks or trying new things or even limiting our own personal and professional growth.

Pitfall number two is procrastination. We can get into this pursuit of perfectionism, which can lead to procrastination. We may delay taking action because we believe that we need more time or that conditions must be perfect in order for us to move forward. And this cycle of delay, it really does prevent us from making progress and reaching our own goals.

Pitfall number three is self-criticism and low self-esteem. Perfectionists tend to be highly critical. Hello, that's me. Is that you? So we set really unrealistic expectations for ourselves. And we can constantly be berating ourselves over not meeting those unattainable standards, leading to this diminished sense of self-worth and confidence.

Pitfall number four is missed learning opportunities. When we are stuck in perfectionism it causes us to avoid situations where we might make mistakes or face challenges that are necessary for our own growth because it's through these experiences that we learn and grow and develop this resiliency that makes us better. By striving for flawlessness we deny ourselves that very valuable opportunity for growth and development.

Pitfall number five is limited risk taking so kind of like this missed opportunity that I just talked about. When we're stuck in this fear of imperfection, it often leads to this risk aversion. So we are not putting ourselves out there. We become hesitant to step out of our comfort zones fearing that our efforts won't meet the desired level of perfection that we've set on ourselves. This reluctance, it really limits our potential and hinders our ability to explore new possibilities.

Pitfall number six is we get this diminished creativity and innovation. The pursuit of perfectionism can really stifle our creativity and limit our ability to think outside of the box. We become overly focused on meeting these seriously unobtainable ideals and it hinders our potential to be innovative and find new ways of doing things.

Pitfall number seven is strained relationships. So, perfectionism, it can really place these unrealistic expectations on ourselves and others. This can strain many of the relationships in our life personally and professionally. We can constantly be seeking this flawlessness and become unsatisfied with anything less than that in our lives.

These pitfalls of perfectionism are common obstacles that so many of us face, however, there is a way to break free from the cycle and embrace this imperfection. Before I talk about that, speaking of pitfalls, I want to talk about my own experience of how perfectionism showed up for me today. So this is so interesting.

I recorded a podcast yesterday and normally I do some of my normal things. I check my recording. I listen to my recording back to make sure it's working correct and all of those things. I ended up meeting with my coach yesterday. I am looking at narrowing in my niche a little bit further and that may be helping women in a different capacity to some degree. And so I ended up going in and recording my podcast episode because I record them a week in advance. I recorded my podcast episode yesterday and I looked at my recording settings and it looked a little wonky on my screen, but I didn't check it.

There was a few little things that popped up that weren't normal, and they really were my red flags of, hey, we've got a problem here, but I didn't check it until I was done, 40 minutes later into this podcast where I was talking about my experience of leaving organized religion. I go and I listen to the end of the podcast, the last few minutes of the podcast and guess what? My microphone wasn't working, and it had recorded everything through my computer audio. So I was like, “Well, okay, what are we going to do here?”

So it sounded absolutely terrible, you guys, it's unlistenable. So I sent it over to my podcast company, “Can we salvage this?” They sent it back and they said, “You know, we tried to remaster it here. Here's a few options for you. We really don't think the sound quality is there, take a listen. Let us know.” And I agree with them, it did not sound good enough for production and it sounds really weird. I sound very robotic, and it doesn't sound like me at all. And given the topic that I'm talking about and what I'm sharing in that episode, it just didn't feel comfortable to me to submit that episode.

So we decided that the best step would be to rerecord it. Well, the problem with that is, I'll either write a script or go through notes on what I want to talk about in my podcast and in this case I just riffed. I spoke, I just talked, which I'm not sure if it all would have come together and presented well anyways but I didn't have notes or a script or anything that I was working from. So to go back and rerecord it, I'm not even really sure what I said. So I can go back and listen to the episode Anyways, so I decided to re-record, and I have been working on it for the last 24 hours basically.

And talk about analysis paralysis. My perfectionist brain has now gotten in here and has taken this episode and we are doing gymnastics with it. So I just want to offer you that even after, number one, I'm a recovering perfectionist, perfectionism is a trauma response for me. And this actually ties a lot into the religion stuff that I want to talk about in the next episode because after I spent all of this time working on this and rewriting this so that I could then re-record. I finally decided I need to step away from it because I am not getting anywhere with this. I'm overthinking it. I'm over complicating it. I'm stressing myself out.

And then now I'm going into perfectionism and I'm going into some self-criticism and am I going to be able to do this and all of those things. So for me, I need to just step back from it. So I decided to record miraculously this episode on perfectionism. It ended up being perfect timing on this. Ultimately, I just had to step away, I had to pull myself back. I had to step away and I had to move to another project.

And I thought, again, that this would be a perfect opportunity to talk about perfectionism, how these pitfalls are common obstacles that many of us face and how we can break free from these cycles and embrace our imperfections. So I wanted to give you these nine reasons why done is better than perfect.

So number one is done gets results. So as I'm freaking out about rerecording this episode about leaving my religion, I'm not getting anything done. So, again, stepping away from it, pulling myself back and then working on something that I can talk about. And I can spend a little bit more time with this episode and not feel pressure because I need to get the episode done so that they can do what they need to do, and it can go into production.

So taking imperfect action and completing tasks leads to outcomes and progress. When we are able to focus on getting things done rather than striving for perfection, especially as spiritual entrepreneurs, we are able to achieve our goals and make real impact, so done gets results. That's number one.

Number two is perfection causes paralysis. When we are striving for perfection, as I just mentioned, it leads to this analysis paralysis. We can get stuck in overthinking and fear of making mistakes. But when we're able to just embrace this idea that done is better than perfect, we can overcome this paralysis and move forward with confidence and momentum, just like I'm doing right now. I'm not going to focus on that episode. I'm going to focus on this one. I'm going to get it done. I'm going to get it turned in so that I have a podcast episode for next week.

Number three is nobody notices the mistakes. In so many cases people are less likely to notice minor imperfections or mistakes than we might think, by accepting that small errors, they may go unnoticed. And as spiritual entrepreneurs, we can free ourselves from that burden of perfectionism and focus on delivering value, which is why we're here, and meaningful experiences to our audience or our clients or the people that we're serving.

Number four is perfection is subjective and it varies from person to person. So when we're able to recognize this, especially as entrepreneurs, we can really release this pressure of trying to meet an unrealistic standard and idea and focus on again, what resonates with our audience, with our people. And prioritize our connection and the impact that we're making over perfection, which leads to more meaningful and authentic interactions with the people that are in our lives, which leads to more meaningful and authentic interactions.

Number five is you can fix it later. Obviously in the case of my podcast, once it's out there, I really can't go in and fix that, I can take the episode down, but in most cases we can edit it, we can change it, we can add to it. We can do what we want. I have a perfect example of this. So I am currently doing my 30 day self-love challenge and I actually put the whole thing together very quick. And looking at it now I'm about two weeks into it, I want to be connecting with you guys in a bigger way.

And so I've started thinking about all these ideas on how I can make this challenge better moving forward. And I kind of again, went into that beating myself up like, oh, man, I should have done this, or I should have done that. I should have been sending out emails. We should have put it into a group, but the thing is, is that I didn't have a lot of time to put it together. And I can just decide to do it now. I don't have to wait until the challenge is over.

One of the things I want to do is have a weekly call when that week is over, coming together with you guys and connecting and talking about, like what came up for you, what did you love about this week, what was your favorite assignment this week. Things like that where we can really connect and collaborate and talk about how this is resonating with you. So my brain was automatically going into, well, we'll do it next time, but the thing is, is that I can just do it now. So we can always fix things later.

And when we're able to acknowledge that that is possible to make improvements and refine our work later, that allows us to prioritize our progress again over this perfection. So taking these imperfect actions provides the opportunity to learn. And here's the thing, I heard this recently that the only way we can connect the dots is by looking back. We can't connect them moving forward. So again, taking that imperfect action, it really provides us the opportunity to learn, to iterate and continuously grow without getting stuck in an endless pursuit of flawlessness.

Number six is you enjoy the journey. By embracing perfectionism, we can shift our focus from fixating on the end result to enjoying the process and the journey, embracing the learning experiences, the challenges, the personal growth that came with the imperfections, adds depth and fulfillment on this entrepreneurial path.

Number seven is embracing imperfections, fosters creativity. Perfectionism often stifles creativity and innovation like I mentioned before. When we're able to go and embrace this imperfection, we are able to unleash this creative potential and explore new ideas without the fear of falling short of these unobtainable ideas. So really embracing imperfections can allow us this freedom and experimentation. Again, a perfect example of this 30 day self-love challenge. As it's unfolding, I'm thinking of all of the different ways that I can expand and improve and add on and make this a beautiful journey for everyone involved.

Number eight is imperfections, build authenticity and relatability. How many people do you see out there and you're like, “Oh, they didn't do it perfect. I'm not listening to them?” We don't. When we're able to embrace our imperfections and create an atmosphere of authenticity, we are leading by example. We are showing the people in our lives that you too don't have to be perfect.

You can be perfectly imperfect and show up exactly as you are and that shows vulnerability. It shows that you're transparent about your own imperfections and it builds a deeper connection with your audience, with your clients, with the people that you are in service with, this relatability, it fosters trust and loyalty, making what you have to offer even more impactful and compelling.

Number nine is imperfect actions inspire and empower others. So by taking imperfect action and showing others that it's okay to make mistakes, you become the role model for courage and growth. So ultimately, this mindset encourages and empowers others, encourages other women to pursue their own dreams and passions, and it helps us foster a supportive and empowering community for us to be able to move forward. So when we are able to focus on getting things done, we can move forward, we can make tangible progress and we can achieve meaningful results in our lives and our businesses.

When we embrace imperfections, we allow ourselves to take imperfect action, knowing that mistakes and missteps are opportunities for learning and growth. And I want you to remember that nobody notices the small imperfections as much as we do. Our audience, clients, community, they are drawn to our authenticity. They are drawn to our passion and the value that we provide rather than an unattainable standard of perfection. So when we're able to let go of this pursuit of perfection, we open ourselves up to creativity and innovation and most importantly, joy of the journey itself.

Our entrepreneurial path is a continuous process of self-discovery, and it is in the imperfections that we find our unique voice, our perspective, and our contribution to the world. So I really want to encourage you and I want to encourage each other to really embrace this imperfection, to celebrate progress over perfection. And let’s support each other in our shared mission as spiritual entrepreneurs to come together and inspire and empower each other to step into our own authenticity and take imperfect action towards our dreams.

I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on this topic and how you incorporate the principle of done is better than perfect into your own spiritual entrepreneurial journey. So please reach out to me on Instagram @soulsistercoaching and let's connect. So I'm wishing you continued growth, joy, and fulfillment on this beautiful path of spiritual entrepreneurship.

I will see you next week, where I will be talking about my journey of stepping away from this organized religion. And in the meantime, if you want a beautiful book about the gifts of imperfection, check out The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. I hope this episode was helpful and like I said, I will see you next week. All my love.

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Thank you for joining me for this week's episode of The Mindset School. Ready to dive deeper into finding your purpose and create a deeply fulfilling life? Visit soulsistercoaching.com for more guidance and resources. See you next week.