30. Finding Fulfillment and Success with The Four Agreements

Hi, I’m Natalie Ottosen and you are listening to The Mindset School for Soulful Entrepreneurs, episode number 30.

Welcome to The Mindset School podcast, a show for spiritual entrepreneurs who are ready to stop feeling stuck, reconnect to their soul’s purpose, and create a deeply fulfilling life and business. I’m Natalie Ottosen, transformational life coach, and reconnection healing foundational practitioner, and I can help you scale and grow a six-figure business from a place of inner authority, wisdom, knowledge, and truth.

If you are a spiritual entrepreneur and you are looking to take that first step towards your dream of running your own business, this is the show for you. Ready to step into your power and move forward with clarity and purpose? Let’s go.

Welcome back, beautiful soul family. It’s been 30 episodes. And every 10 episodes I like to talk about one of my favorite books. And so today I thought that I would talk about The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and this book basically is all about the wisdom. Maybe you have or haven’t seen The Four Agreements out there somewhere in the land of Instagram or social media or the internet universe. But I’m sure it’s possible, especially if you’re on a spiritual journey or you are a spiritual entrepreneur like myself, I’m sure you’ve come across this book and you’ve come across The Four Agreements.

So I wanted to just kind of talk about it a little bit today because it is such a powerful book that introduces some incredible principles that can help us lead to a more fulfilling personal and professional freedom and fulfilling life. So I wanted to kind of unpack them today and talk about how to integrate them into your own life, into your own spiritual journey as a spiritual entrepreneur or just somebody who is looking to become a better person all the way around.

Number one is be impeccable with your word. Number two is don’t take anything personally. Number three is don’t make assumptions and number four is always do your best.

So let’s break down agreement number one, be impeccable with your word. As somebody who was raised in organized religion and kind of a strict upbringing. When my parents and I talked about this back in the episode where I talked about leaving the religion, when my parents were eight years old, they ended up getting divorced. And when that ended up happening, the people who were the most influential in my life, the being impeccable with your word, that ended up becoming something totally different to me. In fact, it ended up becoming that the people in my life were not impeccable with their word.

And the power of language is immense. Your words have the energy to build or destroy, not only for others, but most importantly for yourself. What you say matters. Reading this book and listening to his breakdown of being impeccable with your word had such a profound effect on me because truly they are words that I live by. I do not, as somebody who was disappointed a lot because promises were always constantly made and broken. I make it a mission for myself to absolutely 100% be impeccable with my word.

If I say I’m going to do something, I try to be there. If I commit to something, I do it. And on the flipside, if I don’t feel like I can commit to something, I don’t. So some practical tips on how you can learn to be more practical with your word is to practice affirmations. Be mindful of the negative self-talk that can get in the way and speak with kindness and honesty. So not saying yes when you really want to say no. Not saying no when you really want to say yes.

Not making commitments that you don’t intend to keep. And when you do make a commitment, making sure that you’re following through with that when you say that you’re going to do or be there. But it also comes down to how you speak about yourself and ultimately how you speak about others as well.

Agreement number two, don’t take anything personally. I know as human beings, this can be so challenging at times. But if you can realize that people’s actions and words are truly a projection of their own reality, not a judgment of you, then this can really help along the way of not taking anything personally. Again, we are human beings. We are here having a human experience and we are going to take things personally at times. But if you can realize that the majority of what somebody else is doing has nothing to do with you, you can start just focusing on your own behavior, your own actions, your own words, and your own journey.

So a practical tip for not taking anything personally is to work on building your own emotional resilience. Engage in self-reflection and avoid retaliatory behavior. So not trying to get back at other people for what they’ve done.

So a couple of years ago I had an amazing therapist that I was seeing and she was doing these Brené Brown classes and we were coming together as a group of beautiful women together. And one of the things that Brené Brown really talks about is that people are doing the best that they can. And I know that sometimes that can also be a hard pill to swallow that people are doing their very best. But if you can believe that people are truly doing their best at the time, then that can also help us to not take anything personal as well.

Number three is don’t make assumptions. Miscommunication often leads to needless strife. Always seek clarity instead of making assumptions about what others are thinking or feeling. As somebody who is empathic and somebody who can get a read on energy it is imperative for me to make sure that I’m asking people if what I’m reading is correct. And honestly, sometimes the truth doesn’t come out right away. Sometimes people don’t want to tell you exactly how they’re feeling, but clear is kind.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that statement, that clear is kind. And sharing with somebody how you’re feeling, telling them what’s going on with you, being clear is an act of kindness for yourself and for others, even if it can possibly hurt their feelings.

So a practical tip for this on not making assumptions is to ask for clarification and be transparent with your own intentions and words and actions and feelings. And also be willing to apologize when you’ve made an incorrect assumption. So sometimes you may think that you know what’s going on with somebody and you may be incorrect. So being willing to apologize for when you are incorrect and really owning your own behavior and your own actions and your own words is very helpful along this process.

Number four is always do your best. So this is like what I was just talking about a second ago with the Brené Brown work. Always do your best. Your best, it varies from moment to moment. And doing your best means being as engaged and as focused as you can be at the time. So a practical tip to help with this is to set achievable goals, especially as a spiritual entrepreneur or especially as you’re on the spiritual journey. Be consistent and forgive yourself for not being perfect because you’re not and nobody is. Embrace self-compassion along this journey again of being human.

We are human beings. We are not perfect. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to mess up. And try to remember that you are doing your best and so are other people. So these agreements, they don’t operate in a vacuum, they’re interconnected. For example, being impeccable with your word makes it clear not to take things personally and not making assumptions helps you always do your best.

So I want to kind of talk about some misconceptions about the four agreements. It is as I just mentioned, not about perfection. Some people think that the agreements are these rigid rules, but they’re actually guiding principles meant to be adapted to your own life and your own circumstances. And again, those change because every situation and circumstance, they’re different.

And another misconception is that you’re going to have overnight transformation. And while the agreements are simple, applying them takes consistent practice and deep self-awareness, consistent and continual practice. I’m still working on them and you might be also.

So how do these align with spiritual practice? One of the ways is through mindfulness and meditation. These tools can help you be more impeccable with your word and be present to always do your best. Another way that they align with our spiritual practices is emotional intelligence, which helps to not take things personally and understand the power of not making assumptions.

So I read this book about 15 years ago and it had a profound impact on my journey and like I had mentioned a few minutes ago, it has been a process of applying and being human and messing up. And so I just want to offer you that if you’re wanting to take this to a deeper level, I would recommend reading this book because it again just had such a profound effect on my journey and moving forward on my own path.

The Four Agreements really can serve as a powerful compass that can really steer you towards your own personal freedom and profound spiritual growth, as you are becoming a spiritual entrepreneur or if you are just on your spiritual journey. So by committing to these principles, you can create a life that is filled with purpose and meaning and joy. I encourage you, if you haven’t already, to check out and read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

And reach out to me and let me know what you think of the book. It’s probably not a quick read because you go and at least I did, I became very introspective as I was reading it but it’s a pretty short book. And I would love to know your feedback on what you thought about The Four Agreements, how they apply to you, how you implement them in your own life. And as always, if this resonated with you, please feel free to share it with anybody you think would benefit from it. And until our next soulful conversation, be well and may your spirit be light. Namaste, my friends. All my love. I’ll see you next week.

Thank you for joining me for this week’s episode of The Mindset School. Ready to dive deeper into finding your purpose and create a deeply fulfilling life? Visit soulsistercoaching.com for more guidance and resources. See you next week.