14. How to Deal With Overwhelm in Your Spiritual Business

Hi, I'm Natalie Ottosen. You're listening to The Mindset School for Soulful Entrepreneurs, episode number 14.

Welcome to The Mindset School podcast, a show for spiritual entrepreneurs who are ready to stop feeling stuck, reconnect to their soul’s purpose, and create a deeply fulfilling life and business. I’m Natalie Ottosen, transformational life coach and Reconnection Healing Foundational practitioner. I can help you scale and grow a six-figure business from a place of inner authority, wisdom, knowledge, and truth.

If you are a spiritual entrepreneur and you are looking to take that first step towards your dream of running your own business, this is the show for you. Ready to step into your power and move forward with clarity and purpose? Let’s go.

Welcome back to another episode, my beautiful soul family. I am heading out of town for my annual boating trip on Sunday. As I was getting ready to leave out of town, at the beginning of the week I had all of these feelings of overwhelm come up. So, I wanted to talk about this because I figured if I'm experiencing this, you probably are experiencing this in your life in business as well.

What was making me feel overwhelmed? Well, I am in the process of wrapping up my master coach training. I have projects and deadlines due, I'm going to be gone all of next week, and we wrap up the week after. So, I am having to make sure all my assignments are completed before I leave, because they're all due the day that I get back. I'm also currently working with a business coach, and I have projects that are due right now, which I am feeling behind and feeling overwhelmed about that.

And then, I have all of my to-do list items that need to be done before I leave to head out of town. So, packing… packing clothes, packing the boat, packing food. Normally we have somebody come and watch our dogs. We have somebody come dog sit for us, and my normal dog sitter wasn't able to do that, so we're actually taking the dogs this time. So, that is some extra work that I need to do.

Making sure the car is prepped. So, oil change, tires are okay, all of those things. I need to order food. I need to prep the food. Then, all of just normal day to day things as well. So, kids, family, sports, taking care of the house, running normal errands, all of those things as well. Oh, I also have to get my dog into the vet because we need to get them a sedative because they don't do well in the car. So, all of these things are all coming up for me right now.

At the beginning of this week, I started kind of swimming in this panic and overwhelm. First, I just want to share and point out that this is normal, right? When we have big things coming up, when we have big stuff happening, it is very normal to have overwhelm or panic or urgency kind of creep up on us.

Also, in the coaching world, we talk about overwhelm being one of those indulgent emotions. Meaning, is this really serving me? So, my to-do list is a mile long. A couple of days ago, I was coaching with my coach, and the topic I wanted to coach on was overwhelm, because that's what was coming up for me. It's what I was noticing. As I started to talk to him about overwhelm, I started to grab my chest, and I started to kind of grab my throat.

He slowed me down and he said, “What's going on? Where are you?” And I was like, “Oh my gosh.” And not only that, but I was up in my head. I was thinking of all of the things right? But I was literally grabbing my throat, like I was choking. When he asked me that, I also noticed all of the pressure and all of the tension and the tightness in my chest.

So, I wanted to talk about the definition of overwhelm. Overwhelm refers to, according to the dictionary, it refers to a state of being emotionally or mentally overloaded by excessive or conflicting demands, stressors, or responsibilities. It often manifests as feeling of being unable to cope or manage everything effectively, leading to heightened stress, anxiety, and a sense of being out of control.

What I think is interesting about this is that it manifests as a feeling of being unable to cope. This is where we get to kind of go pick it apart. Is this real or is this just a feeling that I'm feeling in my body right now? I've talked about this before when it's come to fear. And what ends up happening for me, when I get into the state of overwhelm, is I freeze.

I end up creating the to-do list, and I literally write down everything that needs to be done. I ruminate on it. I fixate on it. I really do freeze. I go into this state of freezing; I don't know if you've ever experienced that. But when I get in that overwhelm, I really kind of lock up and I freeze. Then I go into a place of kind of panic. So, instead of doing what it is that I need to do, I just don't do anything at all.

I want to talk to you about some ways that you can really work to overcome some of this overwhelm, and some strategies that you can ultimately use. Because when we get into that place of freezing, sometimes we may end up quitting on ourselves, or we may even end up just not getting it done at all. So, if we have some strategies on how to cope with this overwhelm when it presents itself to us, then we're able to work through it in a different way.

Number one is identifying the source. First, determine any specific factors that are contributing to your overwhelm. So, what is actually creating the overwhelm for you? Is it an excessive workload? Is it personal issues? Is it a combination of various stressors? Like for me, it's finishing my master coach training, it's these assignments that I need to do, it's getting ready to leave out of town, it's having a client load. All of these other things that are coming up all at the same time.

Really identifying that root cause can help you address them more effectively. And it may even help you to write down the list of all of the things that are coming up for you. That's where you go in and you recognize and acknowledge what they are, and how you're feeling about it.

So, maybe taking a piece of paper and writing down the list of all the things that you need to do, or all the things that are contributing to the overwhelm. Then going in and recognizing and acknowledging all of the feelings that are coming up around that, as well. Right? When we're able to start acknowledging and accepting that feeling of overwhelm, it allows us to understand that it's a natural response, number one. Then we can start to challenge the situation. We can start identifying, asking ourselves: What's coming up for me here?

When you start to feel that overwhelm, what's coming up for me? Then writing everything down with that. And then, also exploring, how is this normal? How is this feeling of overwhelm normal for me, right now? I have a lot of things that I need to get done.

Then you can move into prioritizing; number three. Prioritizing and organizing. Breaking down your tasks and responsibilities into smaller, manageable chunks. What I do when I get into this space, is I've taken this list, I've written everything down, and then I go in and I recognize and acknowledge how I'm feeling. And then, I start looking at what's a priority for me. What's most important? What needs to get done?

Well, I need to pack. Because everything needs to go in. We need all of the items to be able to go on the trip. Another priority is completing my work for my master coach training. Is my coaching programs stuff, working with my business coach, is that a priority? That is not as high as a priority as getting my packing done and getting my master coach training things. Are my clients a priority? My clients are priority. So, making sure that I show up and I'm available for my clients.

Making sure that my son is getting to all of the events and the things that he needs to, those are priorities. So, really looking at your list, that you've written down, and prioritizing them based on urgency and importance. And then, you can create a to-do list or use a planner to organize your tasks, the deadlines, and the commitments. I love to take this list and literally plug them into my calendar. This is when I'm going to do this.

Like, recording my podcast. It is legitimately in my calendar right now, of one of the things that I need to… That's the other thing I needed to do this week. Was getting two podcast episodes recorded because I'm going to be gone. So, putting that in the calendar of when these tasks need to be completed.

Number four is delegating or asking for help. Some things you can delegate. Like, I can have my son helped me pack. I can have my husband helped me with those types of things. But when it comes to coaching my clients or recording my podcast, that's obviously something that nobody else can help me with. Those are the things that I have to make sure that I prioritize my time and I prioritize my mind around, so that I can show up and be available for those things.

Again, if it's possible to delegate some of these tasks out, or seek assistance when necessary, don't hesitate to ask help from friends, families, or even other colleagues. Remember that it's okay to share the workload and responsibilities. I know for some of you, who are high achieving women, may struggle asking for help. But I'm going to tell you, there is something really powerful when you can ask somebody, and work in collaboration with somebody else. Because you never know when somebody may need help, as well.

Number five, I think this is an important one, is prioritizing some of that self-care. So, as important as all of my to-do list is, it is also important to make sure that you're prioritizing that self-care that you need. Taking care of that physical and that mental wellbeing. Ensuring that you're getting enough rest, engaging in regular exercise, and maintaining a healthy diet. Make time for activities you enjoy. As busy and as important as some of these things are, that I need to get done...

My son is doing his high school soccer camp this week. It is so important for me to show up and be there and be present and watch. That is something of huge importance and value to me, is to be there. So, making sure that you're taking time for some of those activities that you really enjoy, that help you relax. It can be your hobbies, it can be meditation, or even spending time in nature. And for me, it's being present for my son, being part of his experience, and just supporting loving and watching him.

The other thing is setting boundaries. So, this is interesting. I had somebody reach out to me today about being on their podcast, and they want to meet with me today or tomorrow, to schedule a time. Learning to say no when you are already overwhelmed, or when you have additional tasks that will exceed your capacity, make sure that you're establishing those clear boundaries to protect your time and energy.

Focus on what truly matters, and allocate your resources accordingly. So, in this case, I absolutely want to be on her podcast. I absolutely want to work with her and collaborate with her, and I'm going to ask if we can meet when I get back. Because, right now, I don't have the bandwidth or the capacity to add any more on my plate.

So, setting that really clear boundary of: This is what I need in this moment. Absolutely, I want to do this, and can we do it at a later point in time? And if not, then that has to be okay, as well. So, making sure that you're really setting those boundaries, which is also a part of practicing that self-care.

Number seven is seeking support. Again, I am so grateful for my coach, and I am so grateful for coaching. Coaching has absolutely changed and transformed my life. I know it’s absolutely changed and transformed my clients life. It is so valuable to me, and I know, to so many of my clients, to be able to talk to a coach and to have them help through this process. Which is, what I can do for you.

So, talking to somebody… And here's the thing, it doesn't have to be a coach. It can be somebody that you can trust; it can be a therapist, it can be a friend, it can be a family. But talking to someone you trust about… It can be a mentor. Try talking to somebody that you trust about your feelings of overwhelm. Sharing your thoughts and concerns can really help provide different perspective or guidance or even just emotional support.

For me, it was a real big perspective shift. I was looking at pressure as a negative thing. Instead of looking at it like, how is pressure working for me? And how is having this pressure, a positive… Or not necessarily not positive and negative, but like, what are my benefits of pressure? And one of the things that I ended up recognizing a couple of days ago, is that this pressure, it helps create creativity for me. It also helps me get things done.

So, it's not necessarily a negative thing to have this pressure. But when we do switch into that overwhelm, which moves me into feeling frozen, that's not helpful. And also, making sure that I'm not judging myself. Helping you recognize that you don't need to judge yourself for having the overwhelm or even feeling that pressure or anything else. Really having a support system where you can look at different perspectives, and again, kind of have that emotional support.

Okay, so number eight is practice stress management techniques. I want to offer you the opportunity to explore various stress management techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness meditations, journaling, or engaging in activities that help you relax and unwind.

For me, going and watching my son play soccer. Or maybe it's going out on a walk, for you. Maybe it's spending time with your dogs. Maybe it's even taking a half an hour or an hour, and sitting on the couch watching Netflix doing nothing. Experiment to find different ways that work the very best for you.

Overcoming overwhelm, it's a gradual process. And it really does help us if we can identify where it's coming from, recognize and acknowledge the feelings that we're having. If we're able, to really kind of prioritize and organize these lists of things that we need to do. Delegating where we can. Making sure that we're practicing some of that self-care, and taking care of our physical and mental wellbeing.

That we're not beating ourselves up for all the things that we need to do, and then maybe, judging ourselves for having that overwhelm. Setting some of those boundaries. Seeking support where we need it. And then, practicing some of those stress management techniques to really help us through that process to help us really relax and unwind.

So, implementing some of these strategies consistently really can help adapt to specific situations so that you can really regain that sense of control, and to help you be able to manage the overwhelm more effectively.

Okay, so how do you deal with overwhelm? I would love for you to come share with me on Instagram @soulsistercoaching. I just want you to remember that the way you eat an elephant is one bite at a time. So, when you're feeling that overwhelm, when you're feeling that, “Oh my gosh, I've got so much to do and so little time,” think about how you can break down the items into what's most important. What needs to be done now? What is urgent? How can you leave and let the rest go?

As a perfectionist, I don't like to let anything go. And sometimes that's part of the work, too. What can I put down and not beat myself up over because I can't get to it in this moment? What are some of the things I'm not going to be able to make, or not be able to do? How can I do that, and still give myself some love and compassion through the process?

So, I'd love to know how you deal with your overwhelm. All right, you guys, I hope this was helpful. I so enjoyed this topic and being able to talk about this. I will see you next week. All my love.

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